PEAPOD RECORDINGS

 Worried Love Lyrics

2.18.2009
1. Flaking the Hands

flaking the hands of worry simmer in the pot
a ship of wonder staying awake at all the turns
is immensely amazing a feet worth hands fallen apart

living money it's getting much harder
to stand without to be unable
is the first and only fault
working to live a life

and you don't have to worry anymore
this whole world's coming through your front door
it's all that I can do or see
this ole' worlds chasin' after me
and it's over

what if he were a black man?
that I don't encounter too often
see's honey, sugar and snot
this is not a game
cause we're all the same
and we should know that by now

what I and my dearest friends attempt
can flash up flare up into our face
and in a glance that does well to blind me
of what reality takes place

and you don't have to worry anymore
this whole world's coming through your front door
it's all that I can do or see
this ole' worlds chasin' after me
and it's over

struggling is good it's the best
to destroy what really didn't need be
but along with discarding the worst
a bit of the best can also be lost
it is in this that we become losers

how long can one road be forced
until the path rebels, retells and opts for options
when a certain door fails to yield
the opener must conserve the nerve to survey the scene
don't step on anyone else
to have the length you need


2. What Are We Gonna Do Now?

what are we gonna do now?
what are we gonna do now?
it's all gotten harder somehow

I never thought the same would be the same again

the last time I seen it fall down
the last time I seen it fall down
a partner helped to bring it around

I never thought the same would be the same again

and what has this done to me and you
and what has this done to me and you
put us down the road a step or two

I never thought the same could be the same again

please put out your light
in the night
so I know
i'm not forgotten

I open my eyes and slide in the day
pushin' a hard feeling away
pushin' a harder heart to stay

I am young and change will come, maybe just too slow

life's falling in again and it's that I see
life's falling in again and it's that I see
tight walls encroaching and surrounding me

I am young and change will come, maybe just too slow

and down this road no I can't see the change
and down this road no I can't see the change
impatient and quite scared without safety

please put out your light
in the night
so I know
i'm not forgotten


3. New Morning Pine St.

I was on my back
You were on your front
I slid aside your dress
And stared at you

Skin, brown skin

You awoke before me
And got yourself all dressed
I opened my sleeping eyes
So beautiful the sight

Eyes and hair, brown eyes and hair

Now you've left
For work you've left
Now you've left
And I'm in this bed

Relieved that you're mine


4. Volando Voy (El Camaron de la Isla)

Volando Voy (flying I go)
Volando Vengo (flying I come)
Por el camino (on the road)
Yo me entretengo (that I have inside)

Enamorado de la vida (i'm in love with life)
Aunque a veces duela (although at times it hurts)
Si tengo frio (if i'm cold)
Busco candela (I look for the candel)

Senoras y Senores (ladies and gentlemen)
Sepan Ustedes (know this!)
Es que la flor de la noche (the flower of the night)
Es para quien la merece (is for those who deserve it)

Enamorado de le vida
Aunque a veces duela
Yo no se quien soy (I don't know who I am)
Ni lo pretendiera (nor do I pretend to)

Porque a mi me va mucho (because I go a lot)
La marcha tropical (the way of the party/meditereanan/nightlife)
Y los carinos (and the lovers)
En la frontera (on the border)


5. Jolie Holland

when I was watching you, envious of who you are
I still felt good about who I am
almost as if in that very moment well you made me
though I'm smart enough to know that's impossible
but believing it makes me feel good
for now I can imagine continuing without you
but i'm sure the distance will eventually catch up with me
and there in that situational reality
i'll pass a breath and pass you off as never meant to be

I know that you love
I know you
I don't know

so in a childish state under conflicting rational
I can't believe the way things are
my hand to head I give a laugh at what will always be
making sure I know it's a joke I play on me
and as long as the quick dreams stay distant
they're given no chance of unveiling, of unveiling

I know that you love
I know you
I don't know

come back and in wicker we'll sit over ourselves observing
rays of light and beams of moon
we'll trickle the shortest stories in our lives so short
discovering that we have nothing to lose
we'll find that it's fun and that it's unreal to be sure
we're not the waste but the dearness
I've made up to exist

I know that you love
I know you
I don't know


6. desde Alicant (aka Toke and a Puff)

And you don't want that everything should work out
Well I guess I need that everything does work out
What does it mean when everything does work out
And here I am summing it up before it's had a chance to have been
Well this is alone or maybe that just me in my head
Rock and roll and all those free-est forms that are dead
I wish them away as I never really had their clue
And what will do with new found anti-message

Pull myself apart and sort through the unsorted pieces
Another manic tune, no details in words I can't believe this
Liquor and powder, my head should be so well adjusted
But where I'm at this so called new me can't be trusted
Return to the same a theme I constantly employ
So maybe who I am is just this way so be annoyed now
Why can't he be me or self decent whatever
The words are the same the rhythm the tone and the timbre

So it's my way like a reinforced concrete wall
Holdin' up a ministry still working but bound to fall
History replaced with a reader non-doer information receiver
That's merely an image hopefully passin' and not a keeper
I can't believe it, here again and in this place
It won't take me away as I've done to me self to erase now
Stop running away and grip that hearty skin you're in
And maybe with acceptance some blissful peace you will win

A toke and puff be sure to use the words you're usin'
And go the distance of the body and the skin you're abusin'
Here at 30 an evil stone in your stomach residing
But hope wears thick like that coat that you're never wearin'
So mystically painful these days of this year 2006
A cynical heart will beat through a hidden haze ah to list now
What's undone and what can't be forever
Leave me alone, me who that's with all this time to remember

A true portrait of wickedness struggling for something divine
I confess to the mess I've made internally imploding
Wrecking beauty and that super-innocence that never existed
Well here I go again so peacefully self-loathing
Until the day I deny myself and it's me I'm goading
Nobody else could ever be so responsible for
The waste water ditch and the 40 times I'm pissing
Watch me awake an evil monster a cruel demon arisin'

Drooling in time with aspirations of a billion white people
Tracing their lines on black paper all torn and ripped with mold
The story I'm tellin' oncoming horror my body turning cold
But yield a sign and yourself the key to treasures untold
So hereby I swear to holiest unholy rapture
That in I believe my body and my soul I'll capture
Belching forth a cry from this my only skin
It's in this way I hope my freedom I will win


7. El Tiempo

Porque en la vida (because in life)
Aun tan Hermosa (although beautiful)
todo es dificuldad (all is difficult)
Y porque nuestro tiempo (and because our time)
No es seguro (isn't sure)

Por eso (for this)
Yo cojo el tiempo (I take the time)
Yo como el tiempo (I eat the time)
Como pasa el tiempo (how the time passes)

Tiempo de creer (time to think/believe)
Tengo que creer (I have to believe)

Y en lo mas profundo (and in the most deep)
De(en) mi corazon (of my heart)
Todo esta enredado (everything is twisted up)
Y confuso (and confused)
E invisible (and invisible)
Al mundo (to the world)

Me oyes? (do you ear me)
Si es possible (if it's possible)
Cuando me veas (when you see me)
Mira bien (see me well)

Solo se que cuanto mas lo intento (the only thing I know is the more I try)
Parece que menos lograra (it seems the less I gain)
Debo seguir el arbol (I should follow the tree)
Siempre enfrente (always in front)
Creciendo siempre (always growing)


8. My Mind Blues III

i've got this constant fear
that there are things I can not steer
for morning isn't a gift
i've excepted all in one
it's easy to lose in fun
but then again when it's real
cars drive me around
i'm not tied to them
trying to live just beyond
today's mirror sights
reinvented by man
when I can I go wrong
refuse to complete
the ancient fraud
it's too cold outside for you too
after living it
does any of this make any sense?
after days like these it's only complacent
sitting fragmented
shut out of my only life
pieces here and pieces there pieces everywhere
in my mind
a time is fine to find
but don't repeat it anymore
and my conversations been removed
from the floor
my hopelessness no longer counts
my life caught in the bind
insecure definitions and reasons why
burning earth it is no mistake

something's planned we're in a grip
in today take hold of now
turn away from those stealing focus
find myself on the ground
hold people in my arms
rebel pushing me out of the void
insistency on
a certain purity
i'm in my life
talking out loud
i'm fixed like a crowd
the immovable confusion
the inside thought
moving faster than
the outside naturality
I got my reasons why
i'm going on
moving slow, slower with more time
aged before experience
or experience before age
when I do I don't and will
each minute can be counted
for one such as me
looks panickly forward to the time
when all my time is undeniably free
no sight of right or wrong
an ageless slice of non-category


9. Without Much Time
Here again, but so different
Straight direct and strong
I'm quickly becoming tied to you
I don't know how to say
I love you with the strength I feel
I tire myself with this desperation
Tender always, and the wild thoughts of forever
What I wouldn't do for you
I've decided is nothing
All these emotions, all this power
Has me paralyzed
Precious is what we've found

I want you, I'll push for you
I'll promise for you and give everything I can

Bottom of the stomach
The perception of letting go
And the bleeding of the passing
It's up behind the ribcage
Deep inside, your voice is calling
You're an angel to me
When I turn my back
I find you still standing there
It's not a struggle to see you
You've always been there
I know that seems impossible

I want you, I'll push for you
I'll promise for you and give everything I can


10. Hey Justice?

Hey justice you are none, where I look you are not
kindness heals no one, it seems I'm living, I find you not
my death passes you away and left awakened a lonliness no one can describe
i'm outside of you, outside of me, learn and unlearn
decimate realness for you are not there either
and I can't explain why i'm not there, without any light
I lack interference with you and candidly I walk away
without ever knowing where you were in my life
out of control like water I hear you rushing in to choke
my light
dark I recede into the only one I have ever known
not you, not me, but him
so carpet me to walk on me, shut me to intimidate
my behaviour is yours as I am
take my surrender and surround everything everywhere
hunt me to trap me and bury me away
I'll never stop searching for your hand
I can not deal without you though I have never had you
I hear it all around me chaotically pleading for my attention
and you don't help, you don't guide and you make no sense after all the games we played
I understand nothing more and nothings been added
i'll still look for you without relent tearing and dirty unwhole and distrurbed
catching glimpses leading me tired and cloudy, ready to stop but so afraid
to follow, still but with no peace
I faint into your perceived arms
only to crash hard upon the ground
dumbed, skulled, torn and rent with teary bewilderment
covering my face i'll face you again blind for tomorrow
pacing my days to survive meagerly but always without you
so please deem me worthy, a bit of your attention
flush me awake and turn me away to still wander unfounded and numb
i'll start at the beginning as wide as the first time believe in me
i'll never fail in my effort, stand me not and rail against me
keep me going by leaving me alone
dare me, push me, save me